飛翔 (Play in the WORLD of "MINDCRAFT")

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Alone

A day walking alone at orchard road, a day found myself so lonely, a day found that everyone seem like looking down on me, a day have a lot of though but not able to organize them, a day don't even dare to look at others when walking, a day have no idea on what I going to do next, a day like this..... WASTED!!!!

I went to Muji and got some material to rearrange my life. Some small exercise books that same size as those we used in Sec school and some color pencils. I am going to note down Cooking menu, iPhone apps ideas, photography skill and gift ideas on all these books. I believe that organized life is the way to move on.

2 songs from Wang Lee Hom... time to do something and everyone know what I going to do next. hehe

8:45.... Angry Mode! Just because of one "STUPID, IDIOT, FUCKING, CB" bread that extra charge by the cashier when I bought bread from orchard. My mum keep nagging at me about it. Is just a Buck more of money, why have to keep nagging on me? I did check when the cashier was scanning the bread. Why should I check again on the receipt when both my hand were full of things? Fuck!!!! is that something in my mind that put me into angry mode now? Sorry.... need time to cool down

9:15.... why am i the one who is wrong? Why have to blame on me? Why I get cheated and yet I am the one who is wrong? Is just how you looking at a half glass of water..... is half full? or half empty?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Fairness of life

I have a "CHOU KENG" friend in the camp. He tried all his best just not to go outfield for this ICT. What happen next was that he managed to "siam" the whole exercise. Good for him..... but when came to all the administrative works he was in hell. All those things that were nasty all fell onto him. My point here is that SOMEONE or SOMEHOW things will fine tune themselves. The best part was that my dearest friend(Darren) went over to this "CHOU KENG" guy and laugh at him. And the guy went over to Darren's bed when he was sleeping and slam the whole bed. WTF? Was that going to make up anything? Let him be... just another idiot in life. This is just one of the example. The biggest KARMA here was that.... for those "CHOU KENG" people that we have in the camp. They will have to redo the whole exercise again during November!!!! WAHAHAHA!

Most importantly, those people who don't have the quality in themselves will never have a chance to survive long enough in this society. Time will tell, it just not the time yet.

This blog is transforming to my daily soon rather than record my thinking.

This ICT has provided me a long spare time for my life revolution. Although most of the time my brain was blank due to physical training. I considered this ICT as my best break in this year provided I never go to HK end of year. Lot of things has been set for the rest of the year and I planned to change my working environment. Not by quit my job but to change the system as well as the way I handle my job. Giving myself one last chance for a year more to stay in my current job. I will do something to prove my value and let those people regret of how they judged me.

Is a very very nice sunny saturday. I will be going down to the Cement Jungle at orchard to walk around. At least I will not get mosquito bite there.

Nice song by G.E.M.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Satisfy result for this weekend bookout

I got myself pretty good result on how much works I did during this weekend although most of the time is sitting on my sofa. Would like to see more things to be done on next week because my life will be back to normal again after this reservist.

Praying hard that the sky juice don't fall during my 4 days 3 nights. I don't like wet underwear feeling. hahaha!

Anyway, I would like to see myself change after this reservist (of course to the better one).

I flipped through my photo album and found that medium length hair suited me the most. Shall I keep my hair longer a bit? :)

My doggy not very happy about wearing his Jersey again. But I think it will do him good by not scratching his body so much. Hope he can recover soon.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Songs

泳:在你的記憶裡面有一個我
在你最痛苦的時候陪你度過
難過過了天晴朗了我就走
峯:你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的夢
在你的面前我不必保留
還來不及對你說遲到的我的心動
泳:你的好你的壞
峯:我的脾氣你最懂
泳:我不要你來心疼我
峯:我不要你離開我
合:明天的以後我們會懂
失戀的挫折讓人變更成熟
泳:我對你感覺勝過愛情
峯:因為有你
給我勇氣給我用不完的運氣
其實也想好好愛你
泳:只怕到最後不小心讓你傷心
峯:我不怕會傷心
合:對不起我對你
再好再親密都不能在一起
峯:最後看你在別人懷裡
泳:有天我會找到我的唯一
峯:我並不是你的唯一
合:還微笑祝福你

峯:你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的夢
在你的面前我不必保留
泳:我從來沒對你說壓抑的我的心動
峯:我的好我的壞我的脾氣你最懂
泳:我不要你來心疼我
合:明天的以後我們會懂
失戀的挫折讓人變更成熟

泳:我對你感覺勝過愛情
峯:因為有你
給我勇氣給我用不完的運氣
其實也想好好愛你
泳:只怕到最後不小心讓你傷心
峯:我不怕會傷心
合:對不起我對你
再好再親密都不能在一起
峯:最後看你在別人懷裡
泳:有天我會找到我的唯一
峯:我並不是你的唯一
合:還微笑祝福你

泳:愛情總讓人折磨
峯:所以我們才選擇
合:做比情人更好的朋友
泳:我對你感覺勝過愛情
峯:因為有你
給我勇氣給我用不完的運氣
其實也想好好愛你
泳:只怕到最後不小心讓你傷心
峯:我不怕會傷心

合:對不起我對你
再好再親密都不能在一起
峯:最後看你在別人懷裡
泳:有天我會找到我的唯一
峯:我並不是你的唯一
合:還微笑祝福你

Extracted from my dearest sister FB post

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Another book out day that back to civil life

Hey, Back again but this time round I am good and fine. Nothing I am going to complain much cos some improvement done in myself. Will list down later.... Now I am stuck with this song that from a Lovely silver iPod.

Over you - Daughtry

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Very very nice song and Lyric ESPECIALLY!

Few things that have been sorted out during this reservist. I have some must do things before end of this year

Repaint my Room
Get new furniture for my room
Create my very first iPhone apps
Complete my Diploma course no matter how my school going to screw it up
Start of my driving license course
Make myself less "ah Beng" and think positive always
of course one last thing - Improve my english

Timeline will be schedule during the next 4 days 3 nights of IN CAMP exercise. I will need pen and paper to mark down and draw out my final plan.

This week, went for 3 days 2 nights exercise with not much Kissed from Mosquito. Thanks to my dear camp mate Samson who brought me to army market and got a pair of nice gloves. It was kind of LONG exercise to me as I have not been went through this for long time. Tired, butt pained (as I sat for long time), back pained (as I have nothing to lean against), neck pained (as I have to sleep with helmet on) and leg pained (as I have not much space in the tank and have to fold my leg for long hours). Anyway, I felt like I backed to 7 years ago after the whole exercise. At least I have all my closest friends to chiong with me. FYI, most of my friends has not went to the exercise as they have provided lot of stupid excuses. I didn't blame them as they still have no motive in their life. I started to view things in a more positive view and "WHY" they behaved in "this" way.

Lot of though running through my brain right now. I think I have to stop cos I don't wish to type out all my though with Poor english! haha

tomorrow I will be back to office in the very early morning to capture the sun Rise as well as settle some email. Hope tomorrow will be a sunny day!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

手札情緣

Same theory, different result when you looking at the same thing in different angle.

Why? why would that happen? why I will be able to see clearly when I am not involve in but fell into it when apply on my situation?

Next week I will give myself a best gift by go to CBD area to take the sunset in a form of TimeLapse. That is what I wanna do for so so long. I will love to see the Big Wheel turning.....

Love this quote... If I able to say it out that will be great "The way I see it, I got three choices. One, I can shoot him. Two, I can kick the crap out of him. Or three, I leave you. Well, all that's no good. You see, 'cause none of those options get me you."